You know the feeling. That pit in your stomach when you think about work parties or a family get-together. The racing heart you feel when you imagine getting on a plane to visit your in-laws. The worry you have when you think about how many paychecks are left until Christmas day. The trembling and overwhelming dread you feel when you think about cooking all day for several people coming over later.
Anxiety is a fierce reality during the holidays. Not only are people preparing to entertain family and friends at large gatherings or packing for big trips, but there’s also the added stress of not having enough money for gifts or time to get out and buy those gifts as well as so many other anxiety-inducing activities.
Did I get the right present? Will they like it? How will I find time to spend Christmas with my family and also see my significant other’s family? Whose house will I have to go to on Christmas? How long will I have to be there? Where can I park so that I can leave if I feel like I have to? What will I be able to eat during Christmas dinner without feeling nauseated? What if I’m there past my usual bedtime? What if it’s too hot in the house? What if it’s too cold? What if some of the people there are sick? What if it’s contagious? How can I avoid them if they are? Do I have to stay for dessert even though I won’t eat any? How can I get out of this?
Signs that the Holidays are Getting to You
Sometimes the signs of holiday-induced anxiety are blatant, but that’s not always the case. Here are a few examples:
Irritability
Some people show their stress by putting energy into trying to fix things. They become irritable, which can make things more stressful by stressing out family and friends.
Withdrawal
Another common response to stress is withdrawal, which can cause someone to give up on to-do lists and holiday commitments. This can present as sadness, anger and feelings of bitterness.
Other symptoms
People with chronic stress or anxiety may also experience disrupted sleep, an inability to focus or feel scattered. Physical symptoms may occur as well, and include stomach upset, fatigue, frequent colds, muscle soreness and headaches.
What to Do
Stick to your daily routine as much as possible. This can be tough during the holidays but even doing a few things a day is helpful. For example, wake up at the same time, eat the same breakfast, and write about how you’re feeling every single day.
Prepare yourself to be anxious. There’s no way around it. You’re going to have to go out, be social, and gather with friends and family at places outside your comfort zone. So try your hardest to keep your self-talk positive. Write down coping strategies that help you when you’re most anxious and remind yourself that anxiety is okay.
Focus on family. Thinking about how you can make the holidays great for others can help you get out of your head and concentrate on things that will bring you joy.
Remind yourself that you are surrounded by love. Many friends and family members don’t understand what’s it’s like to deal with anxiety on a daily basis but they are still family. They love you and care about you. And sometimes that’s enough.
Overcome Your Travel Fears
Holiday travel can also trigger anxiety. People with panic disorder or agoraphobia may find overcrowded airports and train stations overwhelming. Those with generalized anxiety disorder may find a host of new things to worry about while traveling.
It’s important to remember that avoidance will not help overcome an anxiety problem, and it may even stir up other feelings or consequences, such as being the only family member absent from the holiday dinner.
Instead of dreading travel, consider it a chance to practice facing your fears.
Plan and confirm all details. Try to book flights that leave early in the day, when airports tend to be less crowded. Always confirm flight, hotel, and car rental reservations. Allow time to pack so you can organize your belongings and bring everything you need.
Make a list of activities you will engage in while traveling. Prepare for potential anxiety-inducing situations by practicing stress-reducing techniques such as slow, deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation.
Put anxiety-reducing techniques to work. If you have a fear of flying, tell the gate agent or flight attendant when you check in and board.
Ask if you can meet the pilot and copilot. Ask them a personal question, such as “Do you have a family?” Seeing that the people flying the plane are real people can be comforting.
If you have a fear of enclosed spaces, you may want to request an aisle seat so you can get up and move around should you feel the need.
Other tips on how to De-Stress
Take the pressure off yourself. The higher your expectations, the more you’re likely to feel let down. Know that some things won’t go exactly as planned and that’s just fine.
Remember that most people aren’t paying much attention to you. You may feel as if people are focusing on you, but in reality, most people are probably wondering what you are thinking of them. Try making a compliment, which can make others feel good, make you feel good, and reduce some stress.
Identify your specific concerns. Are you afraid you will say the wrong thing or embarrass yourself? Remind yourself that although you may feel uncomfortable, that’s the worst that can happen.
Don’t look for relief in alcohol or drugs. Although it can be tempting to take the edge off at holiday events, alcohol and drugs can make anxiety worse and may trigger panic attacks.
Smile, make eye contact, and ask questions. Most people like to talk about themselves and their interests. Ask other people about their holiday plans, what their kids are doing, or what book they’re reading. Avoid topics that can lead to heated discussions and add to your stress.
Choose to say no. Try not to over-schedule yourself during the holiday season. You don’t have to accept every invitation. You may want to eliminate some traditions that cause you more stress than joy.
If you are finding that the upcoming holidays are bringing you more stress, please contact me at:
eglcsw@eileengrudierlcsw.com
REFERENCES
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/how-keep-holiday-induced-stress-under-control-ncna822546
https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/managing-anxiety/managing-holiday-anxieties
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-s-mental-health-matters/201512/anxiety-makes-the-holidays-harder%3famp